No matter the circumstances, approaching the end of one’s own life presents both emotional and practical challenges. However, although it will always be a complex and difficult time, talking about and planning for your own end of life can help to ease the transition for yourself and for those you love. Here are some tips to help you get started.
Start Talking
It may seem daunting at first, but there are significant benefits to discussing your wishes with your loved ones well in advance. Having these discussions early and often removes the pressure to decide everything all at once. It also means that your family will know your wishes, even if you are unable to make decisions or give your input later on.
- Talk about your life – Ensure that the important memories and lessons that have marked your life are passed on by sharing them with the people you care about. Talk of a Lifetime offers conversation starter cards and other activities to help you share stories about your life, the things that matter most, and how you want to be remembered.
- Talk about your death – Discuss your feelings about end-of-life care and how you will make decisions with your loved ones. The Conversation Project offers practical resources to help you get started, including a workbook for deciding What Matters to You and a Conversation Starter Guide.
Take Practical Steps
We can’t control every aspect of our lives or deaths, but there are some concrete steps you can take to ensure that your loved ones are taken care of. While some of these steps may be daunting, completing them may help to give you a sense of control and purpose. Don’t forget to involve your caregivers and loved ones so that they can help you to navigate the process and know how to execute your wishes when the time comes.
- Organize your personal, financial, and legal affairs – The Canada Protection Plan has compiled a helpful checklist of financial and legal documents and advice on organizing your affairs in advance of your death.
- Plan for your end-of-life care – Advance Care Planning Canada offers a wealth of resources and guides to help you think through and document your wishes, including where you would like to be cared for, who can make decisions about your care, and which interventions you are comfortable with.
- Share your plans with your loved ones – Make sure that your loved ones know where to find your important documents and how to access your accounts, including online banking and social media, so that they can carry out your wishes.
Find support
Even with friends, family, and other caregivers around, the end of life can be a confusing and sometimes lonely time. You may want additional support to help you manage the emotional and spiritual aspects of death. While each person’s experience is unique, you don’t have to go through it alone.
- Counselling – Many organizations, including Circle of Care offer counselling and support groups for both patients and families facing the end of a life.
- Online discussion forums – Organizations such as Canadian Virtual Hospice host online forums where patients can discuss their experience and get support from other patients.
- Disease-specific support – Many disease-specific organizations, such as the Canadian Cancer Society offer supports such as hotlines, online forums, and peer support.
- Faith groups – If you are a member of a specific faith group, local or regional organizations may also offer supports including counselling and support groups.
People often struggle to cope with stress and to make decisions at the end of life. Having shared your wishes, prepared as much as possible, and discussed your feelings beforehand will allow you and your loved ones to focus on enjoying the time you have, keeping you comfortable, and celebrating your life.
